Don't let him take me.

I got my man.

Please Pass the Gas.

So this will probably be my most juvenile post yet. I had a gathering of girlfriends over the other day and it was pretty much chaos in the apartment. Imagine a room filled with 8 women some opinionated lawyers, doctors, business types  and myself (I have no real career motives) talking and updating each other on our lives all at once. At one point I had stepped away from the conversations and I felt like I was in some alternate universe for a moment and everything moved in slow motion, nothing anyone was saying was making sense and the words sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. My Boo Thang decided to barricade himself in the room and none of us blamed him. We shared intimate details about each others lives and current issues and concerns of ours. The conversations went from finding a soul mate, work and for some reason easily progressed to issues with digestion and proper etiquette to pass gas in front of our loved ones. To pass or not to pass? That is the question. This was pretty heavy stuff for such 'distinguished' women. My Boo Thang only came out twice once for water and the next to leave and meet with his friend, he practically ran out before he got caught up in conversation he so desperately wanted to avoid, Godspeed my love. We didn't miss a beat and kept on our chatter about all things currently pressing - more on passing gas. We even went as far as providing techniques for catching them before a noise is made to prevent that awkward meeting in public restrooms. You know the one when you have to come out and wash your hands and meet the person who was in the stall next to you and you both smile awkwardly just to ease the tension. This reminded me of the time while shopping with my sister in law and niece who was no more than 3 years old at the time asked her mother while in the bathroom stall at the mall, "Mommy are you taking a snake?", and proceeded to peek her head inside and say "Eww Mommy you are taking a snake and I can smell it", and so did the person in the stall next to her. My friends and I continued to sip our tea and nibble on snacks like ladies of course all while talking about flatulence. We ended the night with hugs and promises to do it all again sooner than later. My friends and I might share to much for some and these conversations may be a bit juvenile but it is always nice to know you are not alone in the world and sometimes just need to know others are feeling just as awkward and uncomfortable in the stall next to you.

More Holiday Spirit: THE BREAK UP SONG

I just stumbled upon another home video from my arthouse phase on my brothers Youtube channel. I filmed this with my bro Cream Puff one night during my college years possibly the same night we filmed the home intruder film for those of you who were lucky enough to view them during their prime. It's all about heartache and not getting enough vitamin D. My Granny makes an appearance at the end. We had about 5 takes and this was the best I could do since I would burst into laughter when Cream Puff started to sing. Please also take note of the professional camera skills. It's a gift what can I say.

I love you Cream Puff! Forever and ever.

I kind of like you

 

like a brother with feminine features. 

Here comes Santa Claus

Tis the season to be jolly, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra. I always thought the idea of an elderly over weight white man sneaking into the chimney after midnight to steal your child's cookies was a bit pedophile like and teaching our children that is OK to invite strangers in our home after midnight as long as they were dressed like a Super Hero or a flamboyantly dressed elderly white man was sending the wrong message but I am no expert. Corporations have long Hijacked the Christmas meaning and replaced Jesus with elves, reindeer, and a coke drinking Santa. They have also brainwashed us into making some questionable decisions, like letting your child sit on a strange man's lap asking him to provide them with gifts if they promise not to be naughty. This time of year you are bombarded with images of smiling family's gathering around the now "Holiday Tree" and singing about Yuletides and participating in all sorts of activities involving all things sparkly. The actual meaning of Christmas is lost in translation and in some cases taken out all together in order for big corporations to include our diverse population in the light festival which involves you spending yourself and your family into more debt.  I was in Karachi, Pakistan last year during this time which is a predominantly Muslim country but corporations are not about excluding the masses but including them as the new Mega Mall was decorated with reindeer displays and pictures with Pakistani Santa throughout (and who says corporations aren't people). I will be making a batch of cookies and leaving my door unlocked this year.  Happy Holidays and remember Santa loves you! 

Dress up in you

Excuse me are those Bugle Boy Jeans you're wearing?