When my mother was feeling particularly energetic she would dance around the house in circles. She would dance to all the 80's classics, Whitney, Teena Marie, Baby Face and others. I loved to watch her move effortlessly around the house as she glided across the floor. I was amazed by her natural grace and movements. In secret I would copy her and dance in front of the mirror. She once caught me and smiled and said, "You are your mothers daughter". I was so proud of myself that I could be at least half as good as she was. While we had a very complicated relationship I always cherished her visits and never wanted her to leave. She once took me on an extended stay with her on a weekend visit when I was about 5 years old. She kept me for a couple months instead of the normal weekend visit. My Granny worried and sent people to look for me but somehow didn't manage to locate me or even think to call someone for help. On my stay with her she mostly dropped me off with friends. I remember staying with an old white man who was clearly an alcoholic. He always took me with him to his regular bar and I ate burgers in my own private booth, pretty fancy stuff for a 5 year old. He was harmless and was only doing my mother a favor, he always made sure I was fed during my short visits. I look back and think, thank god he was not some sort of pedophile. I still can't remember his name but remember his head full of white hair and he always wore a beanie. She eventually came to her senses and dropped me back off with my Granny. She would always visit randomly and usually with gifts in tote. On my 7th birthday and the whole day had gone by and no one remembered or acknowledged the day. Not a big deal now but to a 7 year old this was a very huge deal. She came in around 5 pm with a cake and a lime green and hot pink dress. As soon as I saw her I knew she had remembered and jumped up with joy. She made me my favorite dish, Macaroni and Cheese. The day always stays with me. She felt wanted and needed that day like a mother should. She had few of these moments but when she did her face lit up and these are the times I cherished most, her smile. I sometimes see her shadow on the floor dancing effortlessly across the room and my heart flutters when I imagine her presence near me.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Two Occasions
When my mother was feeling particularly energetic she would dance around the house in circles. She would dance to all the 80's classics, Whitney, Teena Marie, Baby Face and others. I loved to watch her move effortlessly around the house as she glided across the floor. I was amazed by her natural grace and movements. In secret I would copy her and dance in front of the mirror. She once caught me and smiled and said, "You are your mothers daughter". I was so proud of myself that I could be at least half as good as she was. While we had a very complicated relationship I always cherished her visits and never wanted her to leave. She once took me on an extended stay with her on a weekend visit when I was about 5 years old. She kept me for a couple months instead of the normal weekend visit. My Granny worried and sent people to look for me but somehow didn't manage to locate me or even think to call someone for help. On my stay with her she mostly dropped me off with friends. I remember staying with an old white man who was clearly an alcoholic. He always took me with him to his regular bar and I ate burgers in my own private booth, pretty fancy stuff for a 5 year old. He was harmless and was only doing my mother a favor, he always made sure I was fed during my short visits. I look back and think, thank god he was not some sort of pedophile. I still can't remember his name but remember his head full of white hair and he always wore a beanie. She eventually came to her senses and dropped me back off with my Granny. She would always visit randomly and usually with gifts in tote. On my 7th birthday and the whole day had gone by and no one remembered or acknowledged the day. Not a big deal now but to a 7 year old this was a very huge deal. She came in around 5 pm with a cake and a lime green and hot pink dress. As soon as I saw her I knew she had remembered and jumped up with joy. She made me my favorite dish, Macaroni and Cheese. The day always stays with me. She felt wanted and needed that day like a mother should. She had few of these moments but when she did her face lit up and these are the times I cherished most, her smile. I sometimes see her shadow on the floor dancing effortlessly across the room and my heart flutters when I imagine her presence near me.
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