First Baby

Valerie and Ani with their B-day cake made by me!

This past weekend I celebrated the birthday of my cousin Valerie. She recently turned 18 years old and is a constant reminder how out of touch I am with what is hip. I grew up with Valerie and her family. Raised with her father who was only 5 years older than me and more like a brother than an uncle. I would come home to barbie dolls with no hair and toys that had been mutilated by my uncle/brother. He would regularly taunt me, make fun of my gap teeth at the time and claimed I was a lesbian, you know normal brother stuff. When I would explain to strangers my uncle would burn my dolls and laugh in my face they were horrified as they pictured some mid age man with a wife beater holding a can of beer but he was an acne face chubby kid merely 5 years older than me. I would love to see their reaction before revealing his true age.  He eventually got over his phase of mutilating all my  toys and took me under his wing. He protected me and guided me to make the right decisions in life despite our misfortunes. He became my uncle/brother/father all at once. He had Valerie at the age of 16. Still only a kid forced to make adult decisions. She was his pride and joy. His First Baby as he called her. Valerie was like any other child active yet shy and reserved. A head full of curls and made a terror of a young boy turn into a complete softy. Frankie was his name and everyday I miss him. I can't believe it's been almost eight years but feels like yesterday. I replay the scene in my head over and over. I know he wouldn't want me to do that and probably tell me to stop it "Amy". I melt when I see his children becoming grown ups and how he will miss this all and how much they will miss him and knowing more of him, all of him. I see some of Valerie in him. His stubbornness, kind heart, his smile, his unpredictability and his ability to murder toys. His children are a constant reminder of him and sometimes I can barely stand to look at them. I miss him dearly and hope with gods grace he is proud of us and the people we have become.  Love you Frankie and miss you burning my toys and calling me gappy, A.P.E., Amy, White Girl, and most importantly your niece.