Boo Thang

Boo Thang is a simple yet complicated man. He loves strong and hates just as strongly. I sometimes cannot believe how I stumbled upon such a wonderful man who yes thinks I am crazy and often tells me so yet still decided to love me and all my flaws and baggage. One of our first encounters he told me he was half French (a lie) and very sensitive and in tune with his man feelings (also a lie). I later found this out when I tried to make him watch Beaches and also ask about his French background to which he replied "Oh you believed that". He just thought French and Pakistani was more intriguing. I was pretty taken back by that statement since our natural instinct is to believe what a stranger at the time tells us to be true when they are making an introduction. I did think the 'in touch with his feelings' part was a bit overboard at the time. I had to basically back peddle to all my friends about the French part since I was bragging about having some connection to France (I hate the French). What I admire about Boo Thang is his ability to be so calm and relaxed when I am running around like a mad woman about situations that I have no control over such as turning back time. When I wake up late for work (not often I got perfect attendance for the year. Yes I am a complete suck up and ass kisser) and go in to a complete panic and his response is to calm the F-down. It kind of hurts my feelings but is pretty much the snap back to reality check I need at the time. Boo Thang also appreciates his family. I come from what you already know if you read this blog a very dysfunctional family and Boo Thang gets that but is sometimes baffled by the way we treat each other since his family actually gives a sh**. He makes sure to check in with his parents and they also check up on him. He Skypes with them so they can see their grandchild while my family thinks Skype is some sort of military aircraft. Boo Thang is pretty much a mans man and does not take crap from people or let others boss him around (I often wish he let me boss him around). He never raises his voice to get a point across but somehow can convey his anger or frustration with his eyes. He can enjoy the moment without the need to capture it with a photo or post about it on some social networking site. Boo Thang often passes gas after professing his love for me. He enjoys a healthy portioned burrito with quality meat, perfectly toasted toast and baked breads. He's a man with simple request and routine. He just needs his tea first, a smoke, potty time and coffee and toast after and I respect that and learning I need to yield to this routine otherwise both our day is ruined. Our love was truly tested when we experienced the birth of Baby Sophie who was such a horses ass during the birthing process but when Boo Thang looked at his son for the first time he leaned over and kissed me in admiration. I guess you can say I'm the luckiest gal on the block. Love you Boo Thang my baby daddy. 

Oh Snap!

Are we going to see a reemergence of Neo-Soul? Cody Chestnutt thinks so. My Boo Thang is also obsessed with that dude from The Voice Nicolas David so  all signs point to hells yes. Oh Snap!

When I grow up to be a man

My Baby Sophie has already started showing a bit of his personality. I don't know if I should be worried at this point. He definitely knows how to get his point across when he wants food as he spits out his pacifier and grunts loudly demanding food. He also likes to give all his attention to potty time as he silently focuses on pushing out his poop making the most awkward faces imaginable. He totally passes gas with no regard for others around him. When it comes to burping him he completely stiffs up, grunts angrily for us to stop. He sometimes smiles but always on his terms and never on demand as both Boo Thang and I have completely made fools of ourselves jumping around trying to get  one smirk out of him, he usually stares at us blankly.  Baby Sophie has also become more aware of his hands and has started to smack things out of the way he disproves of. I am hoping when he discovers other body parts he respects the social norms. He also has varying grunts, some that tell us he is satisfied, others out of anger and when he is just trying to get a point across and show us who is boss, other grunts sound like he is singing along to a song he only understands. I will attempt to instill respect and values that don't involve hating people based on differences since he himself is a hybrid of differences. I can't wait to see what the future brings for my Baby Sophie I just hope he learns to have some manners.

Welcoming Baby

So it finally happened, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. For now we will call him Baby Sophie. While I desperately wanted Baby Sophie to come and pretty much tried all home remedies with the exception of castor oil (the poop remedy) I had no clue how difficult the actual labor process could and would be for me. In total 38 hours of labor, two hours of pushing and off I went to get a c-section. A total of four days in the hospital which actually worked out since the nurses were there to help and guide us on the path to parenthood.  The first night home Baby Sophie woke up every hour on the hour and the next day slept in three hour increments and thought we were home free. Last night he decided to be a real jerk. He was grunting, crying and plunging towards his food and even had the nerve to pee towards me and on himself (No manners on this kid). He  made all sorts of poop faces and some we recorded for him to witness later in life. He refused to sleep or eat enough to put him back to sleep. Throughout this ordeal he decided to give us the stank eye, pirate eye, and just awkward dirty looks with no smiles or acknowledgment of us waiting on him hand and foot, what a donkeys behind. Who knew infants could be so selfish. As I watch him sleep so peacefully all I can think of is how this little terror kept me up all night with no sleep and how I wish I could just sleep as he does without a care in the world, pooping, eating, and being held with love, care, and tenderness. Welcome Baby Sophie, Mama and Baba love you.  

The Stank Eye

Anxiously Awaiting Baby

I know everyone one tells you to enjoy this time as you will never get the moment back, but in a world where downloads are instant, dinners take a minute to warm, and friends are readily available at the touch of an Iphone application it is difficult to imagine having to wait for something that cannot be downloaded at the press of a button or tab (I do not own an iphone nor frequent social networking sites to 'Like' people's updates or decipher vague and general statements that include "Ughh" or "Why can't people just be nice"). We are a culture obsessed with instant gratification. I am sure you can understand  my dilemma wanting to have this somewhat foreign thing that has been resting inside my uterus for 9 months out or at least be able to download some application on my cell phone that helps speed up the process. This I understand is something completely out of my control and cannot be manufactured or delivered to my door step unless I order it from China or possibly Amazon. I have walked up steps, drank cumin tea (not recommended for the faint of stomach), tried jumping jacks (because I heard they can fall right out) to no avail. I have decided to give up and pretty much eat anything within hands reach. Today I went for brunch and had a bite of buttermilk pancakes, chocolate chip pancakes, a Dutch Baby, chicken apple sausage, eggs, and I think a salad and a bite of someones chicken sandwich. The nights for now will continue to be uncomfortable filled with drool, night sweats and constant struggles to literally roll out of bed to frequent the bathroom. I will continue to try home remedies like eating pineapple, papaya, cumin tea, and walking up and down stairs endlessly in hopes of  going into what I heard is quite possibly the most painful experience a woman can ever endure but would venture blindly at the reach of a button if the option existed. Here is a song I would like to share that has nothing to do with labor but my father in law shared this and cannot get the song out of my head and it has eased a little anxiety for the time being. Enjoy! Co-Co Corina (I miss you dearly).

Corrina, Corrina.

As I become a mother I cannot help to think of mine, Corrina. She was strong, confident, loud, angry, sweet, shy, kindhearted all at once.  Corrina encompassed so many moods and personalities at times it was difficult to know which Corrina you were going to get. but this was the excitement of it all being a daughter of such a dynamic human being. For many years I viewed Corrina through this singular microscope. She simply scared the hell out of me.  She was usually intoxicated and probably breaking down windows and asking for change. I didn't realize she was masking much pain and hurt she experienced through childhood and in her adult life. She would often come to the Forty Flags (The roach motel I grew up) fully intoxicated demanding to have her children back. Police would often be called and they would sometimes ask if we wanted to go with our clearly intoxicated mother. I am not sure if there were doing this make her shut up or maybe it was the fact that they were also concerned a group of children who were clearly high off soda, candy and chili cheese hotdogs from the local 7-11 and were living in a roach motel in a small room. As I got older I got to see how complex of a person Corrina was. While she had her demons she also was one of the kindest people you would ever encounter. She would sometimes bring families over for dinner uninvited because they had no food or she would remember events when everyone else forgot, she would yell at people who were being jerks to others and to yell at complete strangers takes courage. I once saw her take a weapon from a man and beat him with it as she was protecting another. She would also share her talent for dance and we would all praise her natural grace as she glided across the floor. We often had dance competitions and she would get pretty upset when I would come out victorious (I sometimes would have to pretend to lose-She was such a sore loser). Corrina had a pretty rough childhood. Her mother was often absent and she was left alone with an abusive father. She left home at 12 and had 4 children by the age of 19. I was her fourth child out of five total and her only daughter. She once told me she hated me when I was born. I was pretty hurt and confused by that statement but I didn't put the pieces together until later in life. Corrina was afraid I would have to struggle as she did and experience some of her struggles she could not escape until her death. I often wish I can go back and tell her I acknowledge her pain and struggle and have no resentment or pain left in my heart for her. I somehow think she got this message already as I lay with her before she passed. I lay there with her as she held my hand with all the strength she had left and she would look up at me to acknowledge my presence there with her. I got to be there as her spirit left this earth permanently grasping my hand until she was no longer with me.  I cannot believe soon I will be able to bring life into this world as she did and I would have to be responsible for another life beside my own. I know Corrina would be proud and also probably try and make my child prank call local pizzeria's as she have us do from time to time demanding a refund for a non-existent pizza order in which hair from an undisclosed body part was found. Corrina, Corrina I miss you everyday and wish you were here to see this day. (She hated being called mom--she refused it and requested we call her Corrina and I often called her Mommy Dearest. The phrase made famous by the film about the abusive actress Joan Crawford).

 

Goodbye SF I will miss thee.

My last day in SF was hectic, lots of packing and cleaning all while being 7 and half months pregnant.  At the end of the day my Boo Thang and I decided to take our last stroll through our neighborhood. Noe Valley is pretty tame compared to the rest of the city but at the local Starbucks it seemed all the eccentric players came out to send us off.  Boo Thang and I went to the local bakery and got some cupcakes and decided we needed coffee. Walked in to Starbucks and got our drinks and I unsuspectingly sat down to what seemed to be people just minding their own tending to their electronic devices. As I took a deep breath and looked to my right I noticed the man next to us was watching pornography on his laptop in broad day light mind you at Starbucks. I decided to chuckle and I think I chuckled so loudly he notice but not enough to stop looking at the pornographic images on his laptop. I decided to look to my left and notice a man dressed in a cape eating a burrito. He then made it clear he was in fact a wizard from the dark ages and I am sure they had burritos in boxed containers at that time as well. I didn't really know which way to look and Boo Thang and I decided if we stared at each other we would either continue to glimpse at the Wizard man or the Neighborhood Sex Offender so we decided to just stare straight at the wall. I decided to take one more peek at the Sex Offender and chuckled so loudly this time he looked at me from the side and changed his screen to an Eric Clapton Youtube video.  I knew then that Eric Clapton's soothing sounds even touched the souls of neighborhood sex offenders. As Boo Thang and I walked home for the last time in San Francisco it was bitter sweet as we knew we hated the over crowded, over priced, sometimes inauthentic hipster vibe the city was now attracting but would also miss the true locals you wouldn't find anywhere else like the Bottomless Tank Top Man (Yes he only wears a black tank top and no more). Oh San Francisco how I will miss thee.