Spring is Here

I decided to throw out things and make a small donation to the Good Will and in turn went inside to do some shopping and decided to grab a few items as well (I love the Good Will and I rock that mutha f###ker).  The weather is bright and airy and I feel re-energized so much so that I decided to get bangs and after a week I am totally over them. Getting bangs always seems like a good idea and my husbands friends wife did say since my forehead is so large it suits me (English is her second language) but now I look like a Japanese school girl. Boo Thang just pointed and laughed at my new hair-do, needless to say he is not a fan of bangs and thinks they only belong on girls under the age of 10.  Baby Sophie is keeping me busy and has recently discovered his penis. He seems to go for it during bath time and changes. It's hilarious to watch someone exploring themselves without a sense of awareness of others around them. Ahhhhhhhhhhh Spring is in the air.

How did you spend yours?

So as I sit at my cubicle and complain to my co-workers why February 14th is quite possibly the most annoying Hallmark creation ever made and people who celebrate it are idiots and should be punched in the face I get a call from the receptionist to come to the front office. As I walk up to the counter I notice a bright red package with cupcakes and a card. I pretty much start reacting like some 'tween' who just saw one of those vampire dudes from the film, "Twilight". I also decided to run around showing all my co-workers what a great husband I have and how awesome this day is. Yes these cupcakes have taken a banned substance which forbid them from competing in the cupcake Olympics-these are cupcakes on steroids.  Thanks Boo Thang you are the best and help me to understand a bit more everyday why I wake up in the morning. 

It's so hard to say goodbye...

Leaning Sideways! Yeeeeeeeeeeee! Yes, he got that Mexican swagger.

Who knew I would have such a hard time saying goodbye to Baby Sophie as I head back to work. I leave in the wee hour of 5:40am and try to tip toe throughout the house trying not to wake him. I have essentially become a ninja. He sometimes wakes up and Boo Thang feeds him and I can see him in the corner of my eye watching me get dressed and walk out the  door, he knows something is up. I did not anticipate the amount of anxiety I have experienced leaving him home for almost 12 hours daily. I don't know how single working moms managed to do this so god bless you all because I have help from an awesome mother in law and  my Boo Thang and I am still managing to have some separation anxiety. When I come home exhausted from the day and commute I pretty much start prepping for our bedtime ritual, feeding, bathing, play time, and more feeding right before bed. The only time I get to spend lately with Baby Sophie is on the weekend and that is also becoming a juggling act of errands you can't possibly get done during the week, laundry, cleaning, groceries and other annoying household chores. I have day dreams of leaving work and just saying "F* it" I am staying home. How do we decide to chose career (ball and chain of my life) and what I actually want to do, spend time with my Baby Sophie and eat bon bons all day and watch the Wendy Williams Show (I love her). But seriously how do we achieve a stress less life enjoying activities we love? I am sure we would all jump at the chance if we could figure out a way to do so. Maybe I will come up with the best next thing or some random online business where I sell bootleg sports apparel and shirts with random phrases that include: FBI (Federal Booty Inspector) or I'm with Stupid (with an arrow pointed at their spouse) or even take pictures of everything I eat and post it on some god forbidden site not only promoting my glutenous lifestyle but annoying the hell out of my friends by shoving my food taste in every one's face forcing them to "Like it".  I hope I can figure this out soon because these moments I will never get back with Baby Sophie and hopefully one day he will become Man Sophie and while I live everyday and only die once, when that one day will be is unknown.

Things new moms can no longer do.

 

My dearest friends  (I hate you all) recently planned a trip to Cabo San Lucas for one of their bachelorette's and an annual girl trip we try to take. I being recently granted mommy duties was not able to partake in the festivities. I could have begged to go and brought Baby Sophie along and played on the beach but how tacky would that be to bring my new born to a party beach resort along with all my nursing gear, changing pads, baby clothes, teethers, bibs, extra clothes in case he double dirtied the others, toys,blankets, bottles, and cleaners for the bottles. Now I will have to hear about how fabulous the trip was and how great the weather and food was while sitting their nodding and smiling pretending to be happy for them but on the inside fuming with jealousy (praying some one got food poisoning and pooped themselves) . While  they got to be care free running along the sandy beaches of Cabo San Lucas I was at home playing with Baby Sophie and making self baby confessional video's and talking in my baby voice and blaming farts on his grandmother (We find farts way to amusing). I get that I can no longer just go out on a whim or because I feel like it. Baby Sophie has pretty much become the dictator of my life. I have to accept that going out will just have to take some strategic planning and possibly a Power Point presentation to convince the other party to babysit . I am the first of my friends to take on the mommy duties but I will not be the last and when the next one becomes a mother and hopefully by that time my child will be more mobile and can just easily tag along with me I will brag to them about how wonderful it is to just get up and go where the wind blows while they sit there forced to listen tired from lack of sleep, changing poop filled diapers and have vomit on their shoulders but I will continue smiling and laughing about how great life is.  (I am happy you all missed your connecting flight home, Haha!) Love you all. Keak Da Sneak special love to you and hope this time is good to you.

They get cuter!

Before: Alien Monkey

After: My Love Bug

 

I was worried at first but Baby Sophie has managed to come out of the alien monkey phase of his life and hoping it only gets better. I never saw myself as one of "those" moms. You know the ones that are totally in love with their babies and go on and on about crap you could care less about but it has happened. I'm still not one of those "those" moms. You know the ones that have become complete jerks and know all the answers to life's questions and know what is best for you and your child  (I hate those self righteous a**holes. Don't let them push you around!). I have however  become a complete maniac, talking to him and answering back in a baby voice. My baby voice sounds like a cross between John Malkovich in 'Of Mice and Men' and Michael Jackson, it's pretty great. I tend to tell strangers random stories about Baby Sophie and it is pretty funny to see them attempt to be remotely interested but I don't care as long as I can shout to the world what a complete crazed mom I have become.  Baby Sophie you complete me!  "Mama, mama",  said Baby Sophie in my John Malkovich tone.

In the rain

The weather outside is frightful but we have some place to go with crying baby in tote so let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. Hope everyone is enjoying the winter weather or warm weather depending where you are in the world. The current  mood as my leave from work comes to an end is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I cannot wait to be chained to  by desk and stare at my cube buddy hoping she doesn't catch me reading my gossip columns.  I cannot wait to find out what Brittany and Lindsey have been up to. Their borderline psychosis is a hoot. 

And yes Neo-Funky man was the best Youtube version I could find.

It's my band not yours!

Cacalina (remember my cousin who often pooped her pants) and I when we were kids started a girl group inspired by the  early 90's girl group SWV (Sisters with Voices).  We would practice in the field adjacent to the Forty Flags Motel.  We would play SWV in the background so loudly our voices synced with the music. We had convinced ourselves we sounded just like the actual group. In reality we sounded like dying cats. We thought this could be our saving grace from the roach motel and neglectful parents we grew up with.  We would first make our way to Ed McMahon on Star Search and eventually get a record deal and become famous and tell everyone we hated to suck it. Our dreams were shattered when Cacalina's older sister and my first cousin Antoinetta (we shall call her) decided to take over and stated "I think we should revamp the group and I could be the lead singer". We were thoroughly pissed but somehow let her dictate the group. We now practiced in the living room on top of the coffee table and tried popular dance moves, the Running Man, Roger Rabbit, and Tootsie Roll.  Behind Antoinetta's back we would say how much we hated her and wished she would just get hit by a car or something (we were 9 at the time and had no real understanding of the consequences of someone getting hit by oncoming traffic).  One day as we all practiced our dancing and singing my brothers and uncle Frankie walked in and started to laugh so loudly and hysterically I ran into the bathroom and stayed there for about 10 minutes. Once I came out they pretty much let me have it. The reality of my real singing voice came to light and all the fantasies of jumping a train to make  it to Star Search were shattered since I had no actual musical talent. My meeting with Ed McMahon would never happen nor would be able to tell all the haters to suck it.  Cacalina and I were crushed and Antoinetta decided to move on to boys leaving us in the dust with our barbie dolls and combs we used as microphones. Damn you all to hell! I still sometimes fantasize about singing (with someone else's voice) in front of an audience and flipping the bird after I am done. Here are a couple videos of 90's girl groups we gave our likeness to, mind you we were 9 and 10 year old Mexican girls, one with a pooping problem who was often mistaken for a young boy and the other so shy she ran to the bathroom in any awkward situation (we lived in a motel with a living room and bedroom there were no other rooms to hide in).