Date Night.

Another year has passed and Baby Sophie has become an official person with wants and needs and grunts have turned into full fledged tantrums (I cannot wait till he can understand that mama don't play that).  Boo Thang and I are trying to remind ourselves that we are people outside of Baby Sophie and have decided to date again. First date went pretty smoothly. We went out for sushi and throughout dinner gazed into each other's eyes and laughed at jokes that weren't funny, didn't tell each other when we had something stuck in our teeth, and I twisted my hair a lot with my fingers, typical dating stuff. Boo Thang paid the bill like a gentleman (unlike the first time where we actually shared  dish, such a cheap-o).We grabbed some hot tea after and talked about our hopes and dreams, which we hadn't spoke of in sometime. We revealed new feelings we hadn't shared yet and a sense of excitement and butterflies all came back. We walked in the cold night holding each other's hands for warmth and I even allowed for kiss from my handsome suitor (I'm such a cheap date).  It was a perfect night and just the 2 hour break we needed. We even made plans to do it again. I am still waiting for the call for the second date. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him so soon. I will just wait by the phone for the call. I am pretty sure he will call, right?

Baby Sophie's New Start.

Baby Sophie has officially started Daycare. After some failed attempts of working and attempting to also take care of Baby Sophie at the same time I turned into a crazed maniac and everything became a blur.  It is a difficult decision to allow and trust a stranger to not only take care of your child but also bond with them during the time you wish you could. Not so many of us are lucky enough to even have this option or think about how it affects us. We are to busy with work, running household errands, cooking, cleaning, worrying about your other screwed up family to think straight. The women in my family always worked and many of them worked and took care of children with the absence of any father figure and this was the norm for me. I never really thought to ask how it affected them. But I see the hardships my grandmother endured for me and the work that never seemed to end for her. I know she wanted to spend more time with us but the time she did I cherished and savored. When I envisioned becoming a mother I saw myself doing it all, taking care of them and changing all pooped filled diapers but the reality sets in and the bills have to be payed somehow and you also want to use that degree you worked so hard for. But there is also this sense of self guilt not only you feel but seems others want to highlight that a mother should have when they have to work (Or maybe this could be how I am perceiving the questions that are being asked but in reality people are just being honest and curious). As a parent you naturally become defensive and protective when it seems someone may be questioning your ability to parent. I definitely need to work on the over protective thing, I pretty much threatened a 4 year old on the playground the other day because he was trying to pick on Baby Sophie. I basically told him I was going to f-him up. Boo Thang also made an important point the other day which I never really considered how he felt as a father. I was to consumed with my own feelings. He mentioned he also wants to be there with Baby Sophie, changing diapers and not missing any of it. It's not only the mother that feels this alone but a father as well. I want so much to give Baby Sophie what I didn't have as a child and not just things but a real sense of love, acceptance, and peace. Not to worry if someone might shoot in your window, rob your granny while she cleaned the motel rooms, beat a prostitute in front of you, or watch your mom get arrested for the 20th time. I don't think there is a right or what is wrong in this situation, it has to be what works for you and your family. I do know Baby Sophie is my world and I just want to protect him and watch him grow up to have compassion and respect for life and others, but for now he is just kicking, screaming and putting anything on the ground in his mouth. Mama and Baba love you para siempre. 

A whole lot.

Today I went for an evening stroll with Boo Thang and Baby Sophie. We decided we wanted boba tea (Tapioca drinks) and when we got there we realized we were 5 cents short as the place only takes cash. I decided I would still go in line and try to see if they would have pity on me and turns out the girl at the counter had none for leeches and smiled politely and said sorry (damn it). My somewhat introverted nature forced me to walk out red face and tell Boo Thang I was defeated and couldn't beg for a 5 cent discount. I was determined to walk the streets and look for dropped change. I figured people just throw away pennies and could easily find 5 of them. Boo Thang entertained the idea for about 10 seconds and then realized I was just being a crazy person. We went to the neighboring boba tea place and paid an additional 50 cents to use the debit machine. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Boba at last. As we walked with our tea's in hand we see the local bakery closing up shop and Boo Thang thought he could try his hand on getting a discount on Taro Buns (Sweet potato bread) and of course the gentleman behind the counter gives him two for the price of one and even greets us Islamic-ally, "Asalammu Alaikum" the elderly Chinese man states and once again I felt defeated by Boo Thang's natural charisma.  Boo Thang seems to have his way with people and they usually respond. I use to think I had that ability until I was put in my place. We also had a free day from Baby Sophie. I convinced my cousin to watch him for the day while we celebrated the life of my Boo Thang.  We decided to get massages the old cheap Chinese style where they basically punch the living crap out of you and elbow you in the spine.  After our fight club session we went to see a movie. This was probaby wasn't the best choice after being punched in the spine but it was an important film to see, "Fruitvale Station", quite possibly one of the most important movies of our generation and touches on our own embedded prejudices. This film has a real sense of authenticity and captures the Baydesterian (Bay area born and raised-forget all you implants not from the YAY) way of life not limited to "Going Dumb" in a public space. I cried like a baby and Boo Thang pretended he didn't but I think I saw some tears. Oscar Grant will always be remembered. After being beat up by both massages and a film we ended the night with a relaxing dinner. We were exhausted from a day away from Baby Sophie. Did we miss him, No. We actually planned our next day where just the two of us can roam the streets aimlessly looking for a good time as we once did.

Foot Note: Going Dumb: dancing in a spastic like motion and shaking your head. Best done in public spaces at random. For optimal results do this anytime a Mack Dre song is played. RIP Mac Dre. 

Summertime!

The sun is shinning and my baby is crying and mood is right. I have all these ideas of how I am planning on spending my summer. Long walks on the beach, visits to my favorite restaurants, and long nights out. So far I have woken up at 6 a.m. and have gone to bed in the wee hours of 9 p.m. I have however got to watch lots of television and movies on demand. "Lola Versus" and "Celeste and Jesse Forever" are must see films. Baby Sophie in the meantime is taking up all my time and working from home has been a juggling act but the bonus is I can work in my underpants and talk with clients as I dance around making suggestive moves since no one is around to judge me. Baby Sophie is also struggling to crawl and has manged to become an expert army crawler. He manages to go for all things off limits to him which include dirty shoes, small crumbs, all electrical sockets, cabinets, and anything with handles. Why the hell are babies attracted to all things dangerous. Just stay and play with your damn plush stuffed animal but nooooooooooooooo!, I would rather stick my finger in the electrical sockets to see what happens (Yes I have the safety covers you self righteous mom-holes).  I will keep planning this summer events, farmers markets, visits to Delores Park and free concerts. Forget those damn over priced music festivals with way to many cut off shorts and headbands, middle finger to you all. I prefer my concerts free with out of place elderly people dancing on an empty floor fully intoxicated and the lone crazed woman doing yoga at 12 in the afternoon. Lastly, I would love to stuff my face this summer with food, food and maybe a food truck that cost less than a 5 star restaurant and doesn't include gluten free options. Man oh man I love summer. Boo Thang this one is for you.

Hello Sunshine.

Baby Sophie is the sunshine of our lives at the moment, but he is sort of a stalker as well as he stares at us in the early morning. He looks like a creeper as his eyes pierce through the wooden slates in his crib towards our bed with no sound just eyes studying us.

Gangsta B****

I remember watching this video and listening to the lyrics as a child and thinking man I would love to grow up to be just like the girl in the video. This is quite possibly the best video ever. I think we all need a Gangsta B**** in our lives.  R.I.P. Apache your inspiring lyrics to young women across the world will never be forgotten. 

Spring is Here

I decided to throw out things and make a small donation to the Good Will and in turn went inside to do some shopping and decided to grab a few items as well (I love the Good Will and I rock that mutha f###ker).  The weather is bright and airy and I feel re-energized so much so that I decided to get bangs and after a week I am totally over them. Getting bangs always seems like a good idea and my husbands friends wife did say since my forehead is so large it suits me (English is her second language) but now I look like a Japanese school girl. Boo Thang just pointed and laughed at my new hair-do, needless to say he is not a fan of bangs and thinks they only belong on girls under the age of 10.  Baby Sophie is keeping me busy and has recently discovered his penis. He seems to go for it during bath time and changes. It's hilarious to watch someone exploring themselves without a sense of awareness of others around them. Ahhhhhhhhhhh Spring is in the air.