Gypsy Lesbian

Painting by Kees van Dongen

In middle school I was known to be socially awkward. I had no clue how to communicate with other human beings. It was my first time regularly interacting with people from all sorts of ethnic backgrounds, Iranian, Indian, Nigerian, Japanese, Chinese and Arab (I lived in a predominantly Black and Latino neighborhood) and the first time I heard the name Ashweenie over the school loud speaker. I heard that name at least a hundred times over the loud speaker and always wondered who this Ashweenie was, we never got to meet. I was raised by MTV, during the time they had music and shows that included Beavis and Butthead, Singled Out, and bands like Green Day, Nirvana and rap group Bone Thugs and Harmony were popular. I would sit with my usual lunch crew near the sewer drain who consisted of a nerdy Chinese girl with glasses, a couple guys that would call me a lesbian but insisted on hanging out with me so we could discuss hot topics that included any new Beavis and Butthead episodes and Jim Carey films. We spent our lunch hours telling jokes and imitating film actors (I liked to think they secretly thought I was cool and had major crushes on me). I once body slammed one of those kids out of rage for breaking my Beavis and Butthead key chain and ran as he lay crying on the cement floor. I  also went through a phase of shunning my assigned gender role and refused to wear anything pink , frilly, or dresses. I would borrow my brothers pants and use a shoe lace as my belt. I cut my hair short and dyed it black and refused to make eye contact with anyone. My Granny would pray I was going through a phase. People would whisper and stare not quite knowing what to make of me. I'd like to think people were so intrigued by my mysterious ways they would spread rumors about my sexuality and background and gypsy lesbian was the only thing that fit. I wasn't really bothered by the moronic immaturity at school because I had crack heads and ladies of the night outside my house to worry about. And if anyone pushed it to far I would get all crazy bag lady on them. I liked keeping people at a distance that way they wouldn't want to come over to study or call a motel and ask to speak with me. I liked having only my nerdy Chinese friend around. She was the one person I knew who could imitate the hell out of Beavis. We spent our lunches talking about mindless shows with no judgment of the identities we were assigned during junior high. However, I still had a line and refused to hang out with band geeks and thespians. While we since drifted apart I still hold a special place for her. Thank you nerdy Chinese girl for being my only friend in junior high when everyone else thought I was a mysterious lesbian gypsy.