Corrina, Corrina.

As I become a mother I cannot help to think of mine, Corrina. She was strong, confident, loud, angry, sweet, shy, kindhearted all at once.  Corrina encompassed so many moods and personalities at times it was difficult to know which Corrina you were going to get. but this was the excitement of it all being a daughter of such a dynamic human being. For many years I viewed Corrina through this singular microscope. She simply scared the hell out of me.  She was usually intoxicated and probably breaking down windows and asking for change. I didn't realize she was masking much pain and hurt she experienced through childhood and in her adult life. She would often come to the Forty Flags (The roach motel I grew up) fully intoxicated demanding to have her children back. Police would often be called and they would sometimes ask if we wanted to go with our clearly intoxicated mother. I am not sure if there were doing this make her shut up or maybe it was the fact that they were also concerned a group of children who were clearly high off soda, candy and chili cheese hotdogs from the local 7-11 and were living in a roach motel in a small room. As I got older I got to see how complex of a person Corrina was. While she had her demons she also was one of the kindest people you would ever encounter. She would sometimes bring families over for dinner uninvited because they had no food or she would remember events when everyone else forgot, she would yell at people who were being jerks to others and to yell at complete strangers takes courage. I once saw her take a weapon from a man and beat him with it as she was protecting another. She would also share her talent for dance and we would all praise her natural grace as she glided across the floor. We often had dance competitions and she would get pretty upset when I would come out victorious (I sometimes would have to pretend to lose-She was such a sore loser). Corrina had a pretty rough childhood. Her mother was often absent and she was left alone with an abusive father. She left home at 12 and had 4 children by the age of 19. I was her fourth child out of five total and her only daughter. She once told me she hated me when I was born. I was pretty hurt and confused by that statement but I didn't put the pieces together until later in life. Corrina was afraid I would have to struggle as she did and experience some of her struggles she could not escape until her death. I often wish I can go back and tell her I acknowledge her pain and struggle and have no resentment or pain left in my heart for her. I somehow think she got this message already as I lay with her before she passed. I lay there with her as she held my hand with all the strength she had left and she would look up at me to acknowledge my presence there with her. I got to be there as her spirit left this earth permanently grasping my hand until she was no longer with me.  I cannot believe soon I will be able to bring life into this world as she did and I would have to be responsible for another life beside my own. I know Corrina would be proud and also probably try and make my child prank call local pizzeria's as she have us do from time to time demanding a refund for a non-existent pizza order in which hair from an undisclosed body part was found. Corrina, Corrina I miss you everyday and wish you were here to see this day. (She hated being called mom--she refused it and requested we call her Corrina and I often called her Mommy Dearest. The phrase made famous by the film about the abusive actress Joan Crawford).

 

Goodbye SF I will miss thee.

My last day in SF was hectic, lots of packing and cleaning all while being 7 and half months pregnant.  At the end of the day my Boo Thang and I decided to take our last stroll through our neighborhood. Noe Valley is pretty tame compared to the rest of the city but at the local Starbucks it seemed all the eccentric players came out to send us off.  Boo Thang and I went to the local bakery and got some cupcakes and decided we needed coffee. Walked in to Starbucks and got our drinks and I unsuspectingly sat down to what seemed to be people just minding their own tending to their electronic devices. As I took a deep breath and looked to my right I noticed the man next to us was watching pornography on his laptop in broad day light mind you at Starbucks. I decided to chuckle and I think I chuckled so loudly he notice but not enough to stop looking at the pornographic images on his laptop. I decided to look to my left and notice a man dressed in a cape eating a burrito. He then made it clear he was in fact a wizard from the dark ages and I am sure they had burritos in boxed containers at that time as well. I didn't really know which way to look and Boo Thang and I decided if we stared at each other we would either continue to glimpse at the Wizard man or the Neighborhood Sex Offender so we decided to just stare straight at the wall. I decided to take one more peek at the Sex Offender and chuckled so loudly this time he looked at me from the side and changed his screen to an Eric Clapton Youtube video.  I knew then that Eric Clapton's soothing sounds even touched the souls of neighborhood sex offenders. As Boo Thang and I walked home for the last time in San Francisco it was bitter sweet as we knew we hated the over crowded, over priced, sometimes inauthentic hipster vibe the city was now attracting but would also miss the true locals you wouldn't find anywhere else like the Bottomless Tank Top Man (Yes he only wears a black tank top and no more). Oh San Francisco how I will miss thee.

Hola!

It's been some time since my last post but many events have taken place. I have gained about 30 pounds in my mid section which is the most uncomfortable I have felt in a while. Trying to find the perfect sleeping position can take hours and you never quite feel as comfortable as before. My Boo Thang is on auto pilot when I wake up early for work he gives me a push out of the bed as we catches me rolling around on my back like a turtle struggling to turn over on its shell. One of my best friends got married and I got to be the pregnant bridesmaid and it also didn't help is was around 90 degrees out and I walked around in heels all day. No one warns you about the hot flashes you get during pregnancy or how difficult it can be just to try and do your normal routine (Psst. I might have accidentally peed my pants once or twice but don't tell anyone).  My Boo Thang  and I also decided to leave our adventure behind in San Francisco and head to Silicon Valley.  While I enjoy watching all the tech geeks walk to work in their backpacks holding on tight to their Iphones I will miss the nudist, scenic views, and the crazed man walking down the street proclaiming he "runs this shit". The city was getting to crowded with hipsters and tourist hipsters walking in my way and the fatter I get the more annoyed I get with thick glass wearing dorks. I will come back to visit our favorite eateries, watch the nudist walk along Castro Street and sit at Deloris watching over the city buildings. I cannot wait to have a proper Bahn Mi (Vietnamese Sandwich) and authentic Desi chaat in the South Bay.  I am hoping the transition is smooth and less gassy.

Peace.

When Zombies Attack!

In wake of the new zombie apocalypse going on in Miami when another man thought he was probably a lion, tiger or bear during his drug induced hallucination he decided what would these animals do? I know take their clothes off and start chewing off your druggie friends face. The aftermath has produced many news articles and references to films highlighting juvenile fantasies of fighting off zombies to save the human race. Here is a video that has quickly become a favorite. It's pretty much a prank that eventually does not go so well for the prankster. Kids now a days especially school yard kids can handle zombies, since they kill enough in video games. If I ever encountered a zombie my tactic was always pretending I was a zombie myself to blend in. Watch out for those zombies especially the ones carrying a television set in a shopping cart asking you if you want to buy it for $2.

I'm Mexican

So I still don't think this tops Indian Thriller but it comes pretty close with the high pitched Michael Jackson voice telling his girlfriend not to leave and the shaky camera work that somewhat resembles someones wedding video (You know the one couples force you to watch after being married and you sit there with a plastered smile on your face the entire time because if you attempt another expression it may come off rude or questionable). What is most questionable about this video lead singer Angel hanging out in what looks like a cheap motel staring longingly out the window as his band mates play a game of cards. Los Temerarios were the quintessential Mexican romantic band of the 80's and early 90's and anyone who speaks any language knows how awesome 80's love ballads were. I use to dream of one day dancing with my significant other (Boo Thang-I didn't know him yet) to this song. What is most sad is after Gustavo Angel pours his heart out by singing at what seems to be a high school dance it turns out she didn't truly love him as she disappears from the dance floor and he his left to wipe his single tear. (Buddha since I am sure you are one of few who read this blog ask Claudia about this song I am sure she knows what's up) All others thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Throwback!

My brother Cream Puff and I would watch Indian music videos growing up on the local access station Saturday mornings and never knew what they were singing about but often just sang what the words sounded like in English as I we danced about the one room we had at the Flags (remember there was 40 flags). This video made on YouTube by Buffalax pretty much sums up what we thought all along. Also for those of you who worked with me at the rape crisis center many years ago also know this video all to well as it helped  relieve some anxiety and stress after many stressful meetings and encounters with survivors. I pissed off a few of my Desi friends when I showed them this video years ago and I would laugh out loud hysterically and in response they would send me Telenovelas (Spanish Soap Operas), but I would say nothing beats Indian Superman below:

Or Indian Thriller:

Top That!

BBQ Hunt

So I have been browsing pictures of local and not so local BBQ joints for the past hour. I felt guilty as I searched endlessly for pictures of succulent ribs, glistening chicken, and creamy potato salad. I even decided to text my friends as a form of intervention to stop compulsively looking at pictures of BBQ.  I have been wanting beef ribs, chicken, mac and cheese and potato salad. The kind of potato salad with enough  mayo that my potato salad actually drips through my fork. I want to get grease on my hands and BBQ sauce on my face, so when Boo Thang looks at me he points and laughs but I will be too busy with my ribs to care to even wipe my face. I need ribs now! Yes I am expecting but I wouldn't consider this one of those cravings expecting moms have just a usual craving and obsession I get from time time.

Boo Thang if you are reading this you know what to do!